Grammar is sexy.
Hillary. 20-something. Swotty English Major. Queer. Pasta Lover. Kink Elitist. A-grade fittie.

Watches: Game of Thrones. Queer as Folk. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Castle. Once Upon a Time. The Americans. Elementary. American Horror Story. Modern Family.

Unapologetically ships: Jaime/Brienne. Rumbelle. Swanfire. Caskett. Spuffy. Joanlock. Brian/Justin. Mel/Lindsay. Philip/Elizabeth.
If Harry Potter was written by…

JRR Tolkien (Lord of the Ring trilogy):

Good guys win, bad guys lose. Yet, there are still 600 pages left in the book.

30 Pages of Ron going home, 40 more of Hermione going home. Crookshanks peed on the rug, 70 pages of cleaning that up. 30 more pages while Harry goes home. Harry doesn’t like home, goes to visit Ron. (50 more pages). They go to the mall (20). Someone mentions Dumbledore and they talk about him.. 75 more pages.

Appendix A - Entire text of ‘Hogwarts, A History’.

Appendix B - Muggles, and how they got that way.

Appendix C - A collection of songs, presented in their original Parselmouth language.

Appendix D - Detailed description of the flora and fauna of the forbidden forest.

Appendix E - Wand styles of the famous.

Appendix F - A treatise on Lucius Malfoy’s hair

-by Mark Draughn

#ACCURATE 


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